Conflicts with Close Friends

  I have just returned from a dispute with Cassius. This war has caused stress on not only me but on Cassius as well. Things between Cassius and I all came out. He was confronting me and I was confronting him. He sold his political appointments for money to worthless men. After that we just kept arguing back and forth.
  I've heard Antony has came up with a list of people to kill, including 100 senators. All of us conspirators are on that list. I also heard Octavius and Antony are moving their forces to Philippi. I decided that we should march to Philippi and meet them before they get stronger and recruit more men. You can imagine who did not want to march. Cassius. But surprisingly he agreed! Maybe because we had just made up from our agreement but I'll take that! I suggest to get some rest before the big battle the following day and I needed time for myself.
   She is all I ever think about. I can not come to words how much I miss her. I could of prevented this. Maybe if I told her she would of lived. While I was telling Cassius that she died of worrying about me and the fact that Octavius and Antony have allied, I couldn't help but wonder if she was listening to me. I also told him that she had just found out before her death, she put a hot coal in her mouth and chocked. I could not stop drinking, every time I take a sip, it's as if every memory comes back to me. I should of done this, I should done that is something I keep saying over and over again.
   To make my life so much better I was paid a visit during the night from a strange figure. I don't remember much but I do remember him saying, "To tell thee thou shalt see me at Philippi" at first I thought this was Portia but I soon realized it was the ghost of Caesar. I could not rest anymore, so I got up and got ready for the war.

Portia and I